Ten Hag, Ruud and the 11-second wordless clip that proves everything

Editor F365
Ruud van Nistelrooy and Erik ten Hag
Ruud van Nistelrooy and Erik ten Hag

There was an 11-second discussion between two work colleagues this weekend; it must be Man Utd and it must be massive.

 

When does a conversation become an ‘argument’?
We know it was really sodding dull but the desperation to eke some controversy out of Aston Villa’s bore-fest of a draw with Manchester United is leading to some degree of madness.

For some reason, we expect better of Sky Sports, but this headline is risible:

What was said? Erik ten Hag, Ruud van Nistelrooy debate goes viral

They absolutely don’t know what was said because a) there is obviously no sound and b) the two Dutchmen are probably talking Dutch.

And is it a ‘debate’ or is it a ‘conversation’ between a frustrated, under-pressure manager and his assistant? Certainly, Van Nistelrooy is not in the slightest bit agitated, leans back in his chair at one point and nods his agreement…

We would guess that managers and their assistants have a dozen such conversations during the 90 minutes of each football match. And yet…

‘Watch as Erik ten Hag and Ruud van Nistelrooy are caught in heated conversation on bench during Man Utd’s draw at Villa’ – The Sun.

We’ve ‘watched’ and ‘thought’ and then decided that it’s not a ‘heated conversation’ at all. And it’s certainly not an ‘argument’. And as for this…

The Dutchman sat in the dugout as Van Nistelrooy offered advice, but Ten Hag appeared to dismiss his suggestions.

Ten Hag gestured with his hand and shook his head and had a puzzled look on his face, clearly not agreeing with his right-hand man.

The clip lasts 11 sodding seconds and Van Nistelrooy is nodding for a good second of that. Behave.

 

Get that crisis meeting in the calendar…
We might be clearer on Erik ten Hag’s future after a meeting in London on Tuesday, which is held once a month – they had one at the start of September almost like it’s a monthly meeting that is held once a month.

The Mirror are definitely not getting carried away…

Man Utd crisis meeting: Who’s attending and who will decide Erik ten Hag fate?

Can a scheduled monthly meeting really be a ‘crisis meeting’?

 

Coulda woulda shoulda
When asked whether he thought his Manchester United job was safe (for about the 427th time), Erik ten Hag said: “So I don’t have any idea that is different, because they should have told me. We communicate very open, very transparent.”

The ‘should have told me’ is a slight misstep from a non-native English speaker; clearly what Ten Hag means is that they would have told him if he was under significant pressure.

But those two letters make all the difference because that quote has been leapt upon like a free suit by the right-wing press.

”They should have told me’ – Erik ten Hag addresses Manchester United future ahead of talks with Ineos’ – Manchester Evening News.

‘Ahead of INEOS talks’ is some level of bollocks because Ten Hag says he speaks to his colleagues at Ineos “every week, I would say every day we talk, so I expect I will speak with them”. So pretty much every day is ‘ahead of talks with Ineos’.

‘‘They should have told me’ says Erik ten Hag as Man Utd boss admits he has no idea whether or not he’ll be sacked’ – The Sun.

Not sure what they expected. That Ten Hag would say ‘well that’s clearly me done’ after a draw at Aston Villa? Mediawatch isn’t sure whether it will be sacked either; it’s kind of the nature of the sacking game.

‘ERIK TEN HAG insists the Manchester United hierarchy should have told him by now if they intend to sack him.’

Or would have told him, perhaps. Let’s see you f***ers conduct a post-match interview in Dutch.

 

BRUTAL!
As the pressure builds on Erik ten Hag, the real juice is in pretending that Alan Shearer has been BRUTAL about the proliferation of former Manchester United players in the media.

Believe it or not, that’s the second-top story on MailOnline‘s football page, after the widely reported claims from the Manchester Evening News that Thomas Tuchel is being lined up by the club.

Alan Shearer sends BRUTAL message to former Man United stars-turned-pundits – and reveals the one position where Erik ten Hag’s side are ‘not good enough’

Are you ready for the level of BRUTALITY you are about to read? This sh*t is powerful. It’s a ‘strong message’ that has been ‘fired’.

“They’re just not good enough, though.

“We hear a lot from the ex-players from Manchester United. But United, [compared to] when they were playing, they’re miles and miles away from that!

“They’re not good enough in so many positions, particular up front.”

If you are reading this as a BRUTAL attack on the pundits, then you are a lunatic. He’s saying Manchester United are a mess and his reference to ‘ex-players from Manchester United’ is purely a comparison between then and now.

It’s a man speaking on a podcast with a little lack of coherence; and it’s certainly not BRUTAL. It’s not even a gentle tap.

 

Mediawatch Erik Ten Hag

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