Sir Jim Ratcliffe ‘lie backfired’ as ‘pathetic’ Ten Hag ‘bungling’ has Glazers ‘p*ssing themselves’

Sir Jim Ratcliffe has been slammed for his summer ‘bungling’ at Manchester United which saw ‘pathetic’ Erik ten Hag retain his job and now sees the Glazer family ‘p*ssing themselves’ having shirked all responsibility for the mess at Old Trafford.

Ten Hag was given his marching orders on Monday after defeat to West Ham the day before, with Ruud van Nistelrooy stepping up to take interim charge while Ratcliffe and his INEOS team draws up a shortlist of alternative options.

Ruben Amorim is thought to be a ‘top candidate’, but Xavi and Thomas Frank have also been heavily linked while Gary Lineker has put forward a shock candidate for the job.

But we’re well aware that you’re all waiting for the thoughts of beIN Sports presenter Richard Keys, so let’s not waste any further time.

‘At last. But what on earth took United so long? What a shambles of a club they are right now,’ Keys wrote on his blog.

‘Ten Hag should’ve been sacked in the summer. He wasn’t a United manager when he was appointed. He wasn’t a United manager when he was in post. He was never going to be a United manager.

‘He was weak. He cut a pathetic figure week after week on that touchline. He was clueless. All he had to offer in both pre and post match conferences was ‘we schtick together. We schtick to the plan’. Nonsense. In recent weeks I don’t think even he was convinced he was the right man for the job.

‘If he’d had any pride or dignity he’d have walked out in the summer when he found out Ratcliffe and his brains trust were hawking his job all round Europe. In the end he was their fourth choice for his own job.

‘It was typical of Ratcliffe’s penny pinching that ten Hag was kept on. The bottom line is Ratcliffe wouldn’t pay the going rate for a top coach. So they triggered an extra year in ten Hag’s deal and then tried to persuade us he’d been handed a new contract. That lie quickly back-fired.

‘Instead of firing ten Hag they sacked his back room team and started appointing people they’d chosen to put round him. Is anyone even a teeny bit surprised van Nistelrooy has been given the job?

‘It was the Spanish-American philosopher George Santayana who famously warned that those who fail to learn the lessons of history are doomed to repeat it.

‘That strategy never works. Never, ever works. It didn’t go too well for Liverpool and Brendan Rodgers did it? There are so many examples of failed tinkering down the years – keeping the coach but changing everything around him.

‘So that makes another famous philosopher, Aldous Huxley correct – the English writer said ‘the most important thing we learn from history is that we never learn from history’.

‘Ratcliffe’s bungling last summer was of monumental proportions. As if United didn’t have enough bad players at the club he somehow sanctioned the purchase of de Light. Is he really an upgrade on Maguire? What does Zirkzee do? Who else was in for him?

‘If Ugarte was a player he would never have been allowed to leave Paris. I know those guys well. They’re not stupid. Even ten Hag wouldn’t play him.

‘Yoro? Who knows. Maybe. But he wasn’t going to change anything in the first X1 at his tender age.

‘Sekoun Kone? I’ve no idea – but again, he wasn’t one that was going to fix things immediately.

‘United are a mess and Ratcliffe and his brains trust have done nothing to suggest they know how to fix it. Of course – as soon as Ratcliffe started feeling some heat he was doing to act and that’s why ten Hag has gone now.

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‘Ask yourself this. Which top player would sign for United right now? The answer is no-one. Even if they could persuade one – where would the money come from to buy him?

‘Go right through ten Hag’s signings – how many of them would they get money back for? Antony? Hojlund? Perhaps they’d get half of what they paid for him. Onana? Maybe, but I’m not convinced. He proved to be what I said from the outset – a liability and nowhere near as good as de Gea.

‘How did United end up buying so many duds? The list is almost endless. It’s actually really scary. Of course they’re not all down to Ratcliffe and co, but they only a made things worse in the summer.

‘Somewhere in America the Glazers must be sitting pissing themselves. They no longer get mentioned. There’s no blame on their shoulders anymore. They’re still taking huge chunks of money out of the club in dividends – and that’s after banking £1.25 billion – and they still own three quarters of it.

‘What actually did Ratcliffe buy? What was he thinking? From the Glazers point of view it wasn’t just the sale of the century – it was the sale of this and any other century you care to mention. Madness.

‘I wait with bated breath the next act from beneath Ratcliffe’s big top circus tent. Fred Karno would be proud to have put on a farce like the one we‘re witnessing now.’