Dyche sacked, Wolves relegated and more kneejerk reactions from the opening Premier League weekend
Sean Dyche will be sacked by Everton but Enzo Maresca might last at Chelsea. The knees jerk in favour of Manchester United, Mo Salah and Bukayo Saka.
10) Brighton win a trophy
The Seagulls are no strangers to a quick start off the blocks. Brighton have won their opening Premier League fixture three seasons in a row, and that run doesn’t take in a 3-0 away thrashing of the ultimately relegated Watford in 2019/20 which might have the most omen-fearing Everton supporters in a slight panic.
Five victories in their first six games set minds wandering last season before Brighton started displaying less structural integrity than the VO5 gel in Roberto De Zerbi’s hair, so the immediate promise shown in the Fabian Hurzeler era might yet dissipate.
But they looked phenomenal in calmly dismantling Everton, have reached a recent FA Cup semi-final, boast a ludicrously stacked squad and will probably spend more than £200m this summer after cashing in all their Chelsea cheques at once. Another European qualification campaign is possible but a trophy would feel like a fine and equally attainable next step towards establishing their position as a force.
9) At least one promoted side will stay up
A prevalent theme in most pre-season prediction features was the forecasting of yet more doom for the three promoted clubs in a further underscoring of the gulf between the Championship and the Premier League. Some chucked in a cursory Nottingham Forest or even Brentford in alongside two of Leicester, Ipswich and Southampton, but generally it was accepted that what comes up must inevitably go back down.
While last season it took until September 2 – four games into the season – for any of Burnley, Sheffield United or Luton to pick up a single point, and September 30 – a further two matches – before they collected their first combined win, second-tier champions Leicester kicked off this campaign with a credible draw against Spurs at home.
The Foxes benefited from the sort of remarkable wastefulness Southampton exhibited on their top-flight return, having 19 shots and 77.8% possession in a game they were already largely dominating before Newcastle wisely inspired themselves by having a man sent off. Ipswich made Liverpool struggle in the first half before elite quality told, but showed more than enough to suggest they too can hold their own.
These lot are not nearly as hopeless as the 2023/24 promoted vintage, and will not need a series of increasingly hilarious points deductions to bridge the gap.
8) Wolves will be relegated
The sticking point, of course, is that a more entrenched Premier League side with their in-built advantages must subsequently fill that place and make way. A couple of candidates emerged on the opening weekend but Wolves seem intent on making their case.
Their pre-season and summer transfer window last season was almost begging to be given the You Fear For Them, You Really Do treatment. Julen Lopetegui left less than a week before the first game, numerous key first-team players were sold and their recruitment did not inspire.
Gary O’Neil did remarkably well to steady that ship and has been rewarded with a new contract but arguably worse hand. In the past two seasons, Wolves have sold Matheus Nunes, Ruben Neves, Nathan Collins, Conor Coady, Raul Jimenez, Max Kilman and Pedro Neto for around £230m, spending barely over £100m in that time to replace them with lesser players.
The revelation that they plan to spend only £20m more before further sales, with Dara O’Shea the primary target, does not engender confidence. And pursuing relegation magnet Aaron Ramsdale is asking for trouble. There were no particularly alarming signs in an expected defeat at Arsenal but as O’Neil said, “you take £100m last summer, you take £100m this summer, you can’t stand still”. Wolves, if anything, have gone backwards.
7) Mo Salah wins the Golden Boot
It might be time to upgrade him from one-season wonder to opening-day-merchant. Watford, West Ham, Norwich (twice), Leeds, Fulham and now Ipswich have felt the Egyptian’s full premiere wrath and helped prove that no player in the history of the sport has ever been quite as good as Salah after two months of almost specifically only gym work.
It does not necessarily translate to an immediate run of form. The only time Salah has scored in the second game of a Premier League campaign was also the one occasion on which he didn’t net on the opening day: last season, when he followed up a blank against Chelsea – still managing an assist – by breaching Bournemouth.
The evidence on show against Ipswich is that while the transition from Jurgen Klopp to Arne Slot will fundamentally change how Liverpool play, the production levels of Salah are difficult to alter to anything other than extraordinary. He is at his physical and creative peak but also possibly his goalscoring best again.
📣TO THE COMMENTS! Can Salah pip Erling Haaland to the Golden Boot? Join the debate here
6) Spurs fail to qualify for Europe
Few things can be quite as humbling as Jamie Vardy openly downing a can of Red Bull in the tunnel before equalising, reminding you that his Premier League winner’s medal collection outstrips that of your entire football club, and then telling your world champion centre-half to f*** off as he soaks up the support of a stage on which he forever belongs.
Even for Spurs, it is uncharacteristically early to squander any optimism which might have built over a summer in which they made what will likely become a club-record signing, and further subscribed themselves to the school of Postecoglou. The manager’s first season was a success which did not come without caveats – five defeats in their last seven games, all against direct rivals for Champions League places – but solid foundations were laid.
Their transfer window has been exciting yet the focus on youth recruitment has failed to address burning issues in the starting line-up and the advent of European football from September onwards will start a balancing act it is difficult to envisage them mastering.
5) Manchester United qualify for the Champions League
The same could be said for FA Cup winners Manchester United but each of their last nine seasons have involved some form of continental competition and varying states of competence which do not seem to correlate with their European fate. Last season was a possible exception as they were laughably inept in finishing bottom of their Champions League group before recording a record low Premier League finish, but they have also reached two Europa League finals while coming sixth and second in the process domestically.
More indicative of their season is the relative solidity displayed – with admittedly scant proof – in the Community Shield final and opening win over Fulham. Manchester United looked far more robust in both games while still being far from convincing, and cohesive in attack, which represents absolute progress from last season.
With a kick from their new signings factored in and injury problems perhaps fancifully expected to taper off, there is no excuse for Erik ten Hag and his players to fall short of that minimum bar of Champions League qualification.
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4) Pep Guardiola signs a contract extension
It is hard enough predicting a Guardiola starting line-up but with his contract expiration date approaching at the end of the season, the unenviable task of trying to forecast his future must be undertaken.
There might be clues in his public comments but it feels unlikely. Guardiola called it an “honour” and “an immense privilege” to work with his Manchester City players after the victory over Chelsea, but he spoke in similar terms about the Club World Cup last December so it might well have been about as sincere as him referring to an opponent as “so good” after hammering them 6-0.
And realistically Guardiola has achieved everything possible at the Etihad. If it is a matter of timing then he didn’t leave at the height of the Treble or a fourth consecutive Premier League title, so when exactly does he step away? Another season would take him to a nice round decade and provide an opportunity to wrestle the title back from Arsenal before strolling into the sunset. Or he’ll overthink it and sign a lifetime deal when Manchester City are demoted to League Two.
3) Bukayo Saka wins Player of the Year
The player himself might not welcome the pressure that comes with a literal Lionel Messi comparison from his manager, but Mikel Arteta’s point about Bukayo Saka was simple: “You can’t stop him.”
Even lacking match sharpness after a summer spent at times carrying his country in a major tournament in numerous different positions, facing some of his usual rather physical opposition treatment, Saka scored and assisted against a team notoriously difficult to break down.
It seems strange to say about a player who made his first-team debut in 2018 and is entering his sixth campaign as a regular starter, but this could be Saka’s breakthrough season. Not in general terms but as a world-class all-rounder whose rise to universal, impossible-to-deny acknowledgement will be crowned with a spate of personal awards.
2) Everton sack Sean Dyche
Everton seemed intent on reemphasising their Championship candidacy against Brighton, having spent most of last season erroneously indicating they have grown out of their awkward relegation battle phase. After finishing four and two points clear of the drop in previous campaigns, Sean Dyche laid back on a 14-point cushion and thought only of getting it into the mixer.
Any anticipation that might have generated for the new season was carefully deconstructed in 90 hapless minutes, and indeed arguably well before that when the starting line-up was announced with Ashley Young and Michael Keane featuring in a defence which presumably wanted to actually be taken seriously.
Dyche referred to it as “a horrible game as a manager” and was under no impression it was any more enjoyable for the officially long-suffering supporters. His reaction to fans leaving Goodison Park early – “it feels like reality at this football club, if you’re not doing well and you’re not winning, that’s what happens” – was interpreted in some quarters as a dig but felt like an acceptance that Everton remain well below the minimum expectation level in terms of performances and results.
As the current ninth longest-serving manager in the Premier League, that ultimately falls on Dyche despite the off-field distractions of a bungled takeover attempt and uncertain future. It has taken one game for Everton to slip back into survival mode and something will have to give eventually.
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1) Enzo Maresca stays
Such is the state of Chelsea that the big, grandiose, daring prediction for the season is that they will keep their manager long enough that he starts consecutive seasons in charge. That honour has not been bestowed on anyone since Thomas Tuchel, and he was rewarded for his longevity by being sacked a month into that second campaign.
The reign itself started inauspiciously, losing a fixture Maresca’s predecessor Mauricio Pochettino drew twice last season. Manchester City were undercooked and without Rodri among others but Chelsea failed to exploit those potential weaknesses to any meaningful degree.
Yet they played well enough for the Clearlake brains trust to convince themselves this can work – it eventually might and surely sort of has to considering the investment – and Maresca is already excelling as the yes-man ostracising experienced players, nodding along as he is adorned with yet another expensive wide forward and questioning why match-going supporters aren’t eternally grateful for the experience.
