Levy outdoes himself with Kane ‘hindering’ as huge Manchester United decision justified by silly Spurs

Daniel Levy could not resist one last flourish of showmanship in the sale of Harry Kane. Tottenham’s nonsense has justified one huge Manchester United call.

The stamp of Ornstein approval had been administered. The Here We Go was issued. The shonky Photoshops were produced. Plettigoal’s beaming grin could only be described as excrement-devouring as a summer of masterfully baiting Spurs fans culminated in the ultimate specujaculation.

After all the rejected bids, the ignored deadlines, the public flexing and the tireless, tiresome discourse about trophies, records and legacy, it was done. It had been spoken. Tottenham accepted Bayern Munich’s offer. Harry Kane did much the same. The streak of summer transfer sagas was over.

How foolish of us. How foolish of Bayern. How foolish of Kane. How foolish of everyone to forget Daniel Levy’s compulsion to always, no matter the circumstance or context, the repercussions and consequences, be inexorably Daniel Levy.

It was at 8.20am when the news broke. Kaveh Solhekol of Sky Sports claimed that Kane was en route to Stansted airport when he was told not to fly to Germany as Tottenham were ‘trying to change the deal at the last minute’. The striker ‘turned back’ and set up camp ‘at a family home’.

Plettenberg, Solhekol’s Bavarian contemporary whose popularity levels with this half of north London must have made Sol Campbell wince this summer, chimed in to claim Tottenham were ‘hindering’ the deal and had ‘revoked’ Kane’s permission to fly.

There was a suggestion that the fee and payment structure was the problem, that Tottenham wanted to ‘tweak’ the agreement so it reached ‘over £110million’ when achievable bonuses were taken into account.

That figure did not seem like a coincidence. From his post in the United States, Levy had presumably awoken in the middle of the night in a cold sweat at the prospect of his grand deal being overshadowed. Messy bitch that he is, he simply could not countenance Liverpool breaking the British transfer record on Moises Caicedo and pushing Kane down the news agenda; he could not accept Tony Bloom usurping him as football’s biggest pain in the arse.

By around 9am, the U-turn was U-turned. The deal was back on, hitch-free and Tottenham claimed that Kane was cleared to fly – although it should be noted that he remains very much stationary at the time of writing, the club’s record goalscorer reduced to the role of high-end Peter Odemwingie.

This, by the way, is why. This is why Manchester United didn’t ‘just pay the extra’ £30m or so to sign Kane instead of Rasmus Hojlund. Because of all this. This utter nonsense. You think this is bad? This is Levy dealing with a foreign club. This is Levy on easy mode. This is amateur Levy, the first couple of Levy levels which have always been beatable if eminently frustrating. Stick Levy at a negotiating table with a Premier League rival and you’re looking at nuclear degrees of obfuscation rather than just a slightly confused Gary Cotterill standing outside Tottenham’s training ground waiting for lord knows what.

If this was, as reported in some quarters, a ploy to prevent Kane playing in the German Super Cup against Leipzig on Saturday, then Levy has outdone himself. That remains the perfect narrative debut for England’s captain, providing glorious ammunition in any event.

Either Tottenham’s trophyless stalwart wins the first silverware of his career in his first game after leaving Tottenham, or Kane’s goal to guarantee some team trinkets backfires immediately. The joke, as has been firmly established, must always be on Spurs. But if not, one of their own will have to do.

The delay might well have scuppered that dream but as Dimitar Berbatov, Luka Modric and Gareth Bale will attest, there is no such thing as a straightforward Tottenham exit. Kane might actually have got off lightly, even if his Munich-bound private jet is yet to.

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