‘Stain on Manchester United’ is now ‘craved’ as Jose Mourinho gets balls tickled

Editor F365
'Box office' Jose Mourinho
'Box office' Jose Mourinho

The UK media was happy to tickle the balls of Jose Mourinho in a ‘masterful’ display that was just like Robert De Niro.

 

Stainted love
‘Jose Mourinho is long past his prime but ex-Man Utd boss was like Robert De Niro in his pre-match press conference’ is The Sun headline that tells you just how giddy the UK media still get when in the presence of the manager of Turkey’s fourth-best team.

‘He’s a song-and-dance man and a box-office sensation. He’s the manager the Premier League craves because of his charisma, his take-downs, his mindgames and his wisecracks,’ writes Dave Kidd.

He writes that ‘an audience with Jose Mourinho never grows old’ as he lauds ‘the old rascal with the glint in his eye’.

Which is odd because this was Kidd’s take in 2018, when Mourinho was coming towards the end of his Manchester United reign:

‘When Jose Mourinho is soon drummed out of English football, there will be no affection and precious little respect, merely a nationwide feeling of ‘Good riddance and never darken our doors again’.

‘Not only is Mourinho a stain on Manchester United, he is also soiling the global brand of the ‘EPL’.

‘The Premier League markets itself as the most entertaining and competitive competition on Earth.

‘It no longer needs Mourinho’s dark narcissism, nor his regressive tactics.’

He also claimed in 2018 that there ‘used to be box-office charisma and humour about Mourinho, when he was winning titles. Now he’s as boring off the field as his teams often are on it’. He described him as a ‘busted flush’ and even compared him to ‘petulant manchild’ Donald Trump.

Six years later and he is all a-quiver because the previously ‘busted flush’ Mourinho is not a dull man. That’s because he is a Grade A prick, and Kidd has a short memory.

So short, in fact, that he writes that ‘a decade ago, both (Manchester United and Mourinho) would have scoffed at the idea of second-tier Thursday night football’.

Pesky fact: A decade ago Manchester United were not in Europe at all after finishing seventh the season before.

The Premier League doesn’t ‘crave’ Jose Mourinho; tabloid journalists ‘crave’ Jose Mourinho because they have been left with a selection of – as Kidd wrote in June – ‘earnest managers who lack either menace or hair’.

The rest of us think he had it right in 2018.

 

Just for MEN
But there was no giddier man in Istanbul on Wednesday than the Manchester Evening News’ Samuel Luckhurst, who described Mourinho’s performance as ‘masterful’. Mourinho could not be sexier if he were dressed as a Disney princess.

Jose Mourinho entered the room, acknowledged familiar faces and tossed two shirts to two English reporters. One of them was for me.

Mediawatch has done a little sick in its mouth.

Mourinho is a loss to England. And to Portugal. And to Italy. And to Spain. Any country he has managed in would waive border control protocol to have him back.

Breakfast is coming up again…

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Hilarity ensues

Turn up the volume and just listen to that sycophantic laughter while the Turkish journalists wonder why these grown-assed men are all tickling his balls…

 

Enjoy the silence
Over at MailOnline – who describe his press conference as a ’28-minute tour de force’ – they have skewered the real story from Mourinho’s press conference:

Jose Mourinho breaks silence on Man United’s decision to ‘sack’ Sir Alex Ferguson after club legend was stripped £2.16m ambassadorial contract

Yes, this is the very first time that the manager of Fenerbahce has spoken about the decision to relieve Sir Alex Ferguson of his ludicrous golden handshake, coincidentally on the very first occasion that he has spoken to a UK journalist (Dave Kidd, as it happens) who asked the question.

And what was his answer? After 10 seconds to promote his new Netflix documentary, of course…

“The ambassadorial role, I really don’t know that situation. It doesn’t matter why, it doesn’t matter what, Sir Alex has the most important thing: the love and respect of every Manchester United fan around the world. That is more important than the role or a few pounds he can make.”

It turns out silence was golden.

 

A brutal yet subtle dig
That 28-minute tour de force contained a ‘brutal dig over Erik ten Hag treatment’, according to the Mirror, who never knowingly undersell anything.

And here’s that ‘brutal dig’ in full:

“Honestly I didn’t lose one minute thinking about it. I wish the best to Manchester United since the moment I left. I left with a good feeling for the club and its fans and I want the best for them.

“If things aren’t going amazingly well for them, it’s not something that makes me happy. But I have no time, it doesn’t make sense for me to be thinking about what happened, what didn’t happen.

“What happened for sure is that they now keep faith in the coach, supporting the coach, who is staying season after season. That means stability and means trust, giving him conditions to keep his job.”

So that’s why they put up those ‘Welcome to hell’ banners. That was truly ‘brutal’.

Seven hours later it had been downgraded…

Erik ten Hag fires warning to Jose Mourinho after ex-Man Utd chief’s subtle dig

Subtle, brutal, same same…

Mediawatch Jose Mourinho

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