‘Laura Woods naked’ beats Jhon Duran for clicks as Villa fans ‘spot’ stuff

Aston Villa were pretty good and everything but the real stories are a) Unai Emery’s reaction, b) Prince William’s clapping and c) Laura Woods’ bawdiness.

Emery cloud
Aston Villa beat actual Bayern Munich on Wednesday night and that is pretty bloody extraordinary. But do you know what was not extraordinary? Unai Emery’s reaction. No matter how much The Sun try, there was nothing remotely interesting about it, largely because there is nothing remotely interesting about Unai Emery, other than his excellence as a coach.

So frankly, you can f*** off with this…

Aston Villa fans spot what Unai Emery did immediately after win over Bayern Munich as they say ‘what a man’

Firstly, they didn’t ‘spot’ anything; we all watched it on TNT Sports.

And second, he shook hands with the opposition manager, applauded the fans, and then walked down the tunnel.

It’s not remarkable. It’s not interesting. And Villa fans did neither ‘spot’ it, or say ‘what a man’ in some bizarre unison. One Villa fan said ‘what a man’ because he was understandably giddy. And because Emery is indeed a brilliant coach.

Sometimes, just sometimes, the football is the story.

READ: ‘Up the f***ing Villa and ¡Vamos Colombia!’ as Champions League comes alive

Royal blessing
Obviously, the real story from Villa is that Aston Villa fan Prince William was there and was really quite pleased and did some clapping:

‘Prince William’s reaction to stunning Aston Villa winner vs Bayern says it all’ – Mirror.

More as we get it.

Into the Woods
Actually, we wrote all that before we realised – via The Sun and MailOnline – that the actual story from Villa Park was Laura Woods.

Presumably there are a whole host of men – new to the internet and the wonders it holds – that Google ‘Laura Woods naked’ on the regular, hoping for new, nude shots of the TNT Sports presenter, even though there are no nude shots of the TNT Sports presenter because she is a TNT Sports presenter and not a porn star. This distinction is seemingly hard for many to grasp.

We have been here before talking about Laura Woods and the temptation possible boob clicks. And now we have possible dirty naked joke clicks as many men scramble for proof that she is – as they always suspected – a right filthy cow and would probably do it with them given half a chance.

‘Laura Woods makes rude joke about getting naked live on TNT Sports ahead of Aston Villa vs Bayern Munich’ – The Sun.

‘Laura Woods makes cheeky gag about getting naked in hilarious exchange with injured Aston Villa star Tyrone Mings live on TNT Sports’ – MailOnline.

Now forgive us, but we are going to take you through this ‘hilarious exchange’ in which Woods ‘makes rude joke about getting naked’ word by word…

Random Villa fan: “Tyrone…get your kit on.”

Rio Ferdinand: “Did he say ‘get your kit off’? Hang on a minute…”

Laura Woods: “For the first time ever, a fan has said get your kit on.”

Now we have a lot of time for Woods, but that’s about as ‘hilarious’ as it is ‘rude’. And she absolutely did not make a joke about ‘getting naked’. If anything, she made a joke about not getting naked.

The excellent news for Woods is that she is now pregnant (congratulations) and everybody knows that a woman immediately becomes invisible to certain men (who write such headlines and click on such headlines) when she has a baby. Maybe she can then get on with being a sports presenter…

Or are underestimating the lure of potential boob breast-feeding clicks?

Lord of the ring
A headline on the Daily Telegraph caught the eye of a baffled and intrigued Mediawatch:

‘Emery’s exceptional ringcraft helps Villa enjoy thrilling Bayern sequel’

It was with some trepidation that we Googled ‘what is ringcraft?’

And AI tells us that it’s ‘a type of dog training that prepares dogs and their handlers for professional dog shows’.

a) Phew.

b) No.

Bombastic headline of the day
‘Man Utd chaos just 24 hours before Porto clash as flight to Portugal is delayed by THREE HOURS due to severe weather’ – The Sun there, employing a headline-writer who has seemingly never been abroad before.

I’m your private talker…
We sometimes try and get through Mediawatch without mentioning Erik ten Hag but then we see this utter sh*t from the Mirror:

Erik ten Hag reveals private Dan Ashworth talks amid growing Man Utd sack pressure

He didn’t ‘reveal private Dan Ashworth talks’; he confirmed that he has a working relationship with somebody he works with.

Are we all having ‘private talks’ every time we talk to somebody from work? Is Mediawatch going to have a ‘private talk’ later to whichever f***er keeps putting empty milk cartons back in the fridge? Damn right we are.