Remembering 10 of the most unusual red cards ever shown in the Premier League

John Nicholson
Gabriel Martinelli shown an unusual red card
Gabriel Martinelli shown an unusual red card

We’re not interested in a red card for a slightly late challenge here; we want unusual red cards that had us all chorusing ‘did you see that?’

 

Gabriel Martinelli (Arsenal) v Wolves
Two yellows within 20 seconds made for an unusual red card, as Martinelli behaved like a puppy let off the leash. Both were pushing offences, the first on a player taking a throw-in, the second on a defender who was shielding the ball. Martinelli looked shocked that you couldn’t push people over with impunity. Arteta behaved like it was an unparalleled human rights crime, obviously.

 

Keith Gillespie (Sheffield United) v Reading
It really is expert foul play to come on as a sub, hit Stephen Hunt in the face, without even touching the ball and get sent off. All within 12 seconds too. Was it a bet perhaps? Gillespie made it worse after being dismissed by pushing Hunt in the face, because Hunt was laughing at him, as you might expect. It was too much even for manager Neil Warnock, who has laughed in the face of plenty of people in his time, and raged at him like only a man with no eyebrows can.

 

Fernando Torres (Chelsea) v Manchester United
Unusual red card in that the Chelsea man is surprisingly running through at pace and although his form was terrible, and Manchester United had already got the banjo and cow ready, but Jonny Evans was still pointlessly worried that he might score, and so hacks the Spaniard down quite clearly and dramatically. Imagine Torres’ surprise to subsequently be given a second yellow for diving, even though his leg was hanging off. The sort of blind decision that led to the pressure for VAR.

 

Raul Jimenez (Fulham) v Newcastle
You’ve never seen the like. This was a hilarious straight red for a tackle so comically inept that left his manager, Marco Silva laughing. He looked like a drunken ballet dancer as he leaped into Sean Longstaff’s head, in what was described as a ‘kung fu kick’ but he looks more like a man dropped out of a helicopter. Better still he claimed to have done nothing, as they always do, as he came down off Longstaff’s shoulders. Silva turns away, laughing, trying to hide his mirth at the sheer uselessness of it.

 

Dave Kitson (Reading) v Manchester United
He was introduced as a substitute and had been on for just 47 seconds before he decided to sod this for a game of soldiers and to leap like an exocet missile into Patrice Evra, slamming into his shin. Ouch, that’ll sting. Well, we’ve all wanted to do that to him after listening to his punditry. Kitson of course, in the traditional style, looked shocked to be accused of GBH and pretended he’d not performed a leg breaker on the United man at all. Off you go, son, he’s broken.

 

Sander Westerveld and Francis Jeffers (Liverpool and Everton) v Everton and Liverpool
You don’t see proper stroppy fights very often anymore. Here the striker (aka Fox In The Box, remember) gets into a stand-up punching and shoving match with the keeper. Both of them look distinctively beta males who had never before thrown a punch in anger. Jeffers is about a foot shorter and looks very angry as the keeper pushes him away like a big brother holding a little brother at bay. Both got a red card for being very silly and not very good at fighting.

 

Bernd Leno (Arsenal) v Wolves
In which the Arsenal keeper rushes out of his box like a hare on acid, realises he’s made a total bollix of it, seems to forget that he can’t handle it outside the penalty area and bundles it into touch in an awkward ‘no it’s come off my chest, ref and definitely not my arm’, all the while with a look on his face which is saying, ‘I’ve made a total cock-up and will definitely get transferred to Fulham to be laughed at by Marco Silva.’

 

Steven Taylor (Newcastle United) v Aston Villa
In the days before being owned by an autocracy, at St.James Park, Aston Villa’s Darius Vassell had gone around Newcastle keeper Shay Given and had an open goal. Only Taylor stood in his way. What followed was Steven appearing to be hit by a sniper from the crowd. Falling backwards, he blocked the ball with his left hand, then twisted as though shot, in order to try and fool the ref. No one was fooled, everyone laughed. Taylor got a Bafta and eventually had to leave for Australia to avoid further humiliation.

 

Diego Costa (Chelsea) v Everton
The temperamental brooding bastard, who looks like he belongs in a Sergio Leone spaghetti western with Lee Van Cleef, rather than a football pitch was tackled from behind by Gareth, never Gary, Barry, didn’t like it much, so naturally flew into a rage at Barry. The normal level of chest out, head in, argy-bargy wasn’t enough for the heavily stubbled one, so he leaned in and bit Barry’s neck. Biting is surprisingly not allowed. This kind of vampiric activity got him a straight red. He was sent to lie down in his coffin, presumably.

 

Darwin Nunez (Liverpool) v Crystal Palace
He’d been pushing and jostling with Joachim Anderson for a while in that typical sort of alpha male footballer way. Nothing too bad. But Darwin snapped, presumably as intended by the defender, turned round and delivered the sort of headbutt that suggested he’d spent some time in Glasgow. Often headbutts are faked these days. This was unusual in that it was no little brush, it was a proper ‘stitch that, you b*stard’, that Duncan Ferguson would have been proud to deliver.

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