Garnacho, Jesus and Onana: Every Premier League club’s bad omen

Turns out Alejandro Garnacho isn’t all he’s cracked up to be while a Newcastle teen is also a bad luck charm.

We’ve looked at every club’s worst points per game (PPG) performer. They must have played a minimum of 1000 minutes to qualify and the FBref rules state a player must have played at least 30 minutes of a game for it to count towards their score. 

Arsenal (2.20) – Gabriel Jesus (2.00)
Everyone was convinced Arsenal needed ‘a proper striker’ to challenge Manchester City for the title before 21 goals in five games in 2024 cooled that particular hot take. Unfortunately for Jesus he’s contributed just one of those 21 goals, with Bukayo Saka, Gabriel Martinelli and Leandro Trossard doing most of the damage as a front three the Brazilian looks hard pushed to penetrate.

Aston Villa (1.96) – Diego Carlos (1.76)
Considered quite the coup when he joined from Sevilla in the summer of 2022 but having been injured for the whole of his debut season, Carlos has featured out of necessity rather than desire, with injuries to Tyrone Mings, Pau Torres and Ezri Konsa forcing Unai Emery’s hand.

Bournemouth (1.17) – Max Aarons (0.64)
Bournemouth have only lost one of the ten games Aarons hasn’t played, picking up 19 points, which when stretched across the whole season would see Andoni Iraola’s team above Tottenham in fifth.

Brentford (1.00) – Ben Mee (0.87)
Significantly worse than fellow Bees centre-backs Ethan Pinnock (1.09), Nathan Collins (1.10) and cream of the crop Kirstoffer Ajer (1.24), who’s featured the least of any of them.

Brighton (1.52) – Jason Steele (1.36)
Rotated with Bart Verbruggen (1.73), who – according to our ranking – is the better goalkeeper.

Burnley (0.52) – Ameen Al-Dakhil (0.38)
The centre-back started Burnley’s first ten games of the season, in which time they picked up just four points, and has started just two games since.

Chelsea (1.40) – Robert Sanchez (1.19)
He’s now recovered from a knee injury but will presumably struggle to get back in the team ahead of Djordje Petrovic (1.60).

Crystal Palace (1.00) – Jean-Philippe Mateta (0.86)
Michael Olise, star player linked with seemingly every top English club along with Juventus, hasn’t featured enough to qualify due to various injuries, but is actually more of a bad luck charm than Mateta with a PPG of 0.82, which has us questioning the logic of this piece. Though similarly in-demand Eberechi Eze leading the way on 1.38 makes us feel a bit better.

Everton (1.20) – Amadou Onana (1.11)
Talk of his transfer has gone rather quiet while a fellow Toffees midfielder attracts attention.

Fulham (1.16) – Joao Palhinha (1.05)
Widely considered to be Fulham’s best player, or at least their most valuable, but two of their eight wins this season came in the three games Palhinha has missed through injury or suspension.

Liverpool (2.31) – Ibrahima Konate (2.11)
Liverpool have picked up 22 points from the eight games Konate hasn’t featured in this season. Jarrell Quansah has started five and won five.

Luton (0.8) – Marvelous Nakamba (0.46)
The biggest difference to the team PPG of anyone on this list, which is especially impressive given how big a percentage of that whole it is.

Manchester City (2.24) – Ruben Dias (2.10)
He just beat Erling Haaland (2.15) to it and we wouldn’t read too much into this given Dias missed Burnley home and away, along with Bournemouth before they got good and Everton after they went bad.

Manchester United (1.76) – Alejandro Garnacho (1.65)
Lovely to see one of the great hopes for the future bringing up the rear while redundant pair Scott McTominay and Harry Maguire lead the way with a score (2.00) that would have United comfortably in the top four had they played every game.

Newcastle (1.48) – Lewis Miley (1.21)
Incredible that he’s even played enough to make this list given he’s just 17 and the significant injury woes that have granted him so much game time have also understandably led to a downturn in results.

Nottingham Forest (0.96) – Harry Toffolo (0.71)
He produced both assists in the 2-0 win over Aston Villa, but that’s the only three points he is credited with, too briefly coming off the bench against Manchester United and playing no part in the victories over Sheffield United, Chelsea, Newcastle and West Ham.

Sheffield United (0.52) – Anel Ahmedhodzic (0.42)
Didn’t think Mason Holgate’s assault on Kauro Mitoma was worthy of a red card, with his apparent need for an eye test going some way towards explaining why Sheffield United have conceded 65 goals this season.

Tottenham (1.88) – Brennan Johnson (1.63)
Not only a worse record than Manchester United but a worse record than Manchester United’s worst performer. Hang your head in shame, Brennan.

West Ham (1.44) – Nayef Aguerd (1.26)
Fellow centre-back Angelo Ogbonna has started just three times this season, and in those games West Ham have beaten Brighton and Arsenal at home, and drawn with Brighton away.

Wolves (1.40) – Mario Lemina (1.32)
He’s been very good all season and can take solace in the fact that he’s just below top scorer Matheus Cunha (1.33), who’s been undeniably excellent too.